In honor of How to Bring Your Love Life Back from the Dead I thought I’d share some zombie pick-up lines.
Of course, we need to establish whether you can use this on your potential zombie mate or from one zombie to a brainy…
Zombie to non-zombie:How about we go somewhere else…and dinner’s on you? I just love a man with a full head and hair. I could just take a bite out of you. I need a woman who can teach me how to love again. I don’t know what went wrong last time–I’m still digesting it. You’ve got a great set of legs…not too fast looking. I know how to make a guy really lose his mind. You seem perfect, and the last thing I want is for you to get away. Not to butter you up, but you look tasty…actually, I’d love to butter you up. Oh, sweetie, you’ve got brains enough for the both of us. I want to ask you out, but I’ve got no guts. I love a lady with a good head on her shoulders. It took all this time to walk over to you–don’t send me away empty-handed. What have you got to lose? Seriously, because I don’t think you need both kidneys. I saw you at the end of the bar, and I said to myself, “Now there’s a girl dying to meet me.” I’m looking for a girl who likes to have fun, my last date was a dead end.
Zombie to Zombie:I like a man with a sloooow hand…and a shambling walk. I’ve got my eye on you, and you can keep it. I don’t know what rock you crawled out from under, but when you go back, I’d love to join you. How about you and I go out for a bite–I’m thinking that brunette in the corner. I want to hold your hand, but I think you left it back at the table. I got the cold shoulder from the last girl I met here–you wanna share it? If you need it, I’ll always lend you an ear. I have two after all. My last relationship ended with a shotgun wedding, so I need a good woman to heal me…and reattach my arm. You might think we don’t match–you’ve got no leg to stand on, but I’m okay with that. Other guys here might like someone a little more lively, but I already ate, so we’re good. You came with Fred? Where’d he dig you up from…and are you guys serious? How about we go catch a live show? It’s a bit dead in here. I noticed you looking at me like I was a piece of meat…how about we do that together to that guy over there? I’d love to hear you moan my name along with “braaaaaains.” You’re so beautiful I’d dive in front of a shotgun for you. Are your legs tired…because you’ve been shambling through my mind since you came in. Wanna go play dead together?
How to Bring Your Love Life Back from the Dead in Ten Easy Steps is the first novella in my Halloween collection. Lauren cons Daniel into dressing as zombies, but can that bring her love life back from the dead?
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